It is not hard to notice that on social media—any of the ones I participate with—I’ve been largely absent.  If you follow me much at all, especially on Facebook, you probably know I’ve been doing elder care for my mother. 

Around the end of November, my mother had fallen twice, and it was clear she could no longer live alone. She was frail, weak… and I was afraid at first. I was not merely afraid for her, but I was experiencing a dramatic change.

My son had moved back home a few months before; we were building an interesting creative dynamic. I was learning a lot about his work—film editing, and animation—and supporting that move.  The house was becoming quite creative.  Just the way I liked it.  As he also worked nights, I still have a lot of time by myself, and it was on my own terms and time.

That changed.  Fear for Mom, and massive change: It was a struggle.  The schedule was not my own, and at first leaving her for an hour, even to go get groceries, was anxiety producing.  Physical therapy, steady meds, and… let’s face it… no longer being alone almost all the time changed things.  Jonathan Byrd’s song The Ballad of Larry comes to mind. 

Now, with her getting stronger, and healthier, I’m gaining more time to work on my own projects.  At one point most of what I did was write poetry.  It took me a full month to edit one chapter… but even that process gave me insight. 

Because I could no longer even imagine that I could allow myself to get into The Flow of creativity, I had to focus on becoming far more thoughtful with my editor’s notes on Sen of the Woods.  I’ve come to realize that while Flow is great, it’s also not the only thing of value.  There’s great joy in this new process that’s just as exciting. 

I’ve also planned on publishing the poems some time this year.  For once my own artwork will be on the cover.  You’ll start seeing more of me on social media, as well as this website.  #eldercare #creativity #creativeflow #poetry #editing #loneliness #LonelinessIsPoverty